Monster in My Mind

On a message board I frequent, someone asked what the monster inside our head looked like. Is it human? Does it even have a body?

The question jogged my memory.

In high school, for art therapy, I drew a picture of a shadowy ghost (instead of white like Casper, it was black like the blackness inside a cave, where no sunlight ever reaches) with fangs and glowing red eyes.

Today, it looks like me. It looks like my perfect image of myself, beckoning me, lying that if I can reach perfection, I’ll be good enough. I’ll deserve to live and be happy.

Fred Illyria Transformation_Angel

Until recently, I thought everyone had an internal dialogue. Apparently, that is not the case.  If you have a voice in your head (ED or not, maybe it is simply a critical voice or an anxious, fearful voice), what would it look like?


6 thoughts on “Monster in My Mind

  1. Maybe I need more therapy because until I read your sentence I also thought everyone has an internal dialogue… Though I’ve been coming to the realization that the majority of my friends suffer from one mental illness or another.
    I’ve never thought of what my voice looks like.
    I suspect she would look like a done up mean girls version of me.


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