I simultaneously want to skip work, binge/purge until I throw up blood, cut, and water fast until I pass out. Yay. 😡 I’ll probably hang out in my car until it is time to clock in and I’ll be surprised if I don’t cut. I hope it won’t be enough to bleed through my jeans like yesterday. I’ll probably skip lunch too. I felt like crying as soon as I woke up, after tossing and turning all night. I hate myself. If I get through this day without winding up in the hospital (or deserving to), it’ll be a miracle. 😥
Edited to add: LMAO, now I’m anxious I’ll be late because I looked at the clock and realized how late it was. >.<Why bother with life? Maybe this is all the medicine (or lack thereof) talking. *sigh* Time to leave. I pray my boss doesn’t mention writing on other people’s data in our meeting. Often she mentions issues people have (in general terms, never pointing anyone out, but I and the people mad at me will know). If she does, I fucking give up. I’m giving Ginny my blades, but if my boss mentions it, nothing stops me from buying more. Also, giving her the meds I bought to OD on, but the same applies there.