Inpatient

What are you looking at. never seen a hypocrite before_BBT.gif

One of my best friends is going to inpatient this week for her eating disorder. I’m sad for her. I also feel somewhat guilty because to be honest, I should’ve gone inpatient last week for my suicidal ideation. I’m glad the acute crisis seems to be over, but I feel guilty because I refused to go out of fear and she is afraid right now.

Hmm, I’m not entirely sure why that causes guilt. Maybe I feel guilty because I’m trying to talk her out of fear when I didn’t go to treatment because of fear. Therefore, I feel guilty because I am a hypocrite. In that case, I should feel guilty all day, every day because I tell kids to use coping skills instead of inappropriate behaviors and I don’t do that.

I wonder if that is part of my excessive irrational guilt. Perhaps it is so easy for me to feel guilty in any area because I have guilt constantly bubbling under the surface from work.

I know it is the right thing for her and I’m trying to help her feel better about it.

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2 thoughts on “Inpatient

  1. Pingback: Afraid of my Own Mind | Masochist Musings

  2. Pingback: Catch, Challenge, Change | Masochist Musings

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