Without fail, Law and Order: SVU is triggering because every episode focuses either on rape or child abuse. Yet I continue to watch it. WHY?!?! I KNOW it will make me feel disgusting and wrong. I wish I knew why I watch it when I know it upsets me.
My first night was almost perfect. I overate, but it wasn’t a binge because I stopped before I felt sick. I wasn’t out of control. I wanted to purge, but resisted the urge despite no fear of discovery. I didn’t want to cut until I read about the new SVU season. I ended up going to sleep instead of cutting.
Also, I wonder what normal people talk about. Ginny talks to her other friends on the phone. Her other friends aren’t at our current workplace. Not all of her friends have kids or are married. So, they don’t all have that in common. This requires some thought.
So far, I’m winning the fight today. I woke up this morning in a good mood. Wow! I think sleeping in the same room as 2 adorable puppies helps. 🙂 I even felt proud because I advocated for myself yesterday when insurance blocked my refill and I got the pharmacist to override the block! Not only did I ask for what I needed (which is a big deal), but I also WANTED to do the right thing to take care of myself!