Ethics of Lying

The day Ginny asked to get coffee after work, I promised her I’d call her before killing myself. That puts me in a bind. If I don’t call her, she will feel extra guilty. If I do call her and she can’t talk me out of it, she knows where I live. Therefore, she could notify my parents.

If I promise to call my psychiatrist instead, but don’t, she would not know the difference. However, she might think “If only I’d made her promise to call me anyway. I could’ve talked her out of it.” People find a way to feel guilty after suicide regardless, so maybe it doesn’t matter if I lie to her? I’m trying to make sure I lessen the impact on her. In general, she is one of the people who would quickly move on, but not if I screw up and make her feel responsible. Then again, she is logical and fact-based. She would realize I am an independent agent and she could not control my actions.

After all, my psychiatrist made me promise I’d call him, but he made me promise that last time and I did not call him before attempting suicide. Consequently, I’ not sure why he believes me when I promised I’d call him this time.


6 thoughts on “Ethics of Lying

  1. You’re right, people do find a way to feel guilty no matter what you do. This however doesn’t let you off the hook. Call them, give them the chance to help and if no matter what you can’t win this battle do them the kindness of saying to them, “You did everything possible, this is not your fault. I love you and care for you but my demons are too great.”

    The loss of you will be huge for so many people, including those you follow you here. Guilt has kept me alive more times than I can count. On good days I’m glad for it, on bad days I rely on it to keep me moving.

    Liked by 1 person

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