Running instead of Cutting

 

dear-brain-please-shut-up

I tried running to cope when I wanted to cut earlier. I don’t even remember the trigger anymore. It sort of worked. At first it helped, but once I started breathing normally again, my SIB urges returned. So, I tried running again. This time I ran until I literally could not keep pace anymore. The second time, my SIB urges did not return. However, predictably, I was tired!

Along with eradicating unpleasant emotions and pushing distressing thoughts away, cutting helps me focus. It makes me more alert and concentration is easier. Running did the opposite. I was too tired to focus on the video lecture!

I liked the thought of running because it serves many purposes (self-punishment, emotional regulation, pushing thoughts away, measurable progress). If you use running or exercise to cope, do you always feel tired after or do you get used to it? If you always feel tired, how do you wake yourself up? Or do you have alternate coping skills that serve all these purposes?

So, the search for a replacement behavior continues.

The next class for my course was this evening. It went well, but my stupid internet kicked me offline THREE times! That was hugely triggering and I couldn’t just leave and cut or run because you have to answer questions. Next time I’m going to Starbucks.

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Running instead of Cutting

    • Yeah, there is a benefit to numb. I decided running is a perfect substitute for purging. I felt the same way afterwards and running is healthier. I know over-exercise is a form of purging, but that has never been a problem for me (I hate it too much!).

      Reading is a good idea. That would take my thoughts away and not make me tired. Although, I liked running for guilt. We’ll see. I’ll keep trying. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s