Today was a good day. I worked with John. It is always a treat to get him off the bus these days. We worked together every day for a year. For months, every time he saw me come down the aisle he screamed and said, “I HATE you! Why can’t I work with Barb?!? You’re the worst teacher ever! I wish you were dead.” etc. However, now when he sees me he smiles and gives me a big hug. While we waited for Cory and David, we chatted about his Halloween and talent show plans. I got that warm fuzzy feeling and realized, I love this kid. He did well, no aggression and he worked almost the entire Math class without screaming!! It sucked that he had 3 episodes of screaming, so I had to take away his check (the kids earn break by getting all 3 checks for safety, following direction/ respectful words, and doing their work). Therefore, he had to stay in class on break. He cried and wanted a hug. He cried all of break and did nothing fun, but he stayed safe and used coping skills to turn things around.
I ate a normal lunch and didn’t purge it, even though I was tempted to purge.
Ginny did a presentation on reinforcement and the functions of behavior. When she said SIB can be automatically reinforcing (the act alone is reinforcing, nothing external like attention or escape is needed to keep the behavior going), the person behind me said, “That is WEIRD.” Her comment bothered me. Something isn’t weird, just because YOU don’t understand it. I think I’m being overly sensitive because I wouldn’t be (as) mad if someone said licking walls was weird.
So far, so good handling Ginny’s online absence and not telling her about my weight loss. I’m extremely proud of my coping last night.