Oh no! I found out I want that same concern/caring reaction from my parents that I want from friends. Damn it! I thought it was just with friends because I was insecure about my attachment to them. However, tonight I caught myself wondering why my parents have mentioned my weight loss even though I’m below weight restoration, and no one called me to eat tonight. I wondered if they loved me and considered dropping even faster. WTF, brain?! At the same time, I had a nightmare where they took the keys to the car and refused to let me go to work until I ate enough to gain the weight back.
I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I am self-aware enough to know what is happening. On the other hand, I can’t think of what I could do instead to garner the same reaction. Today we brainstormed about Cory wanting negative attention and ways we could give similar attention without making him resort to bullying to control others’ emotions. Tangent: Once, when I purged frequently, he looked at me oddly and asked who my bully was. Anyway, I completely understand being picky about the type of attention you receive.
What can I do instead?