Best Halloween EVER

positive SPED change.jpg

The kids were great, but I had lots of cutting urges and some suicidal thoughts. I’m trying my best to NOT message Ginny because it is Halloween (duh) and she is taking her daughter Trick or Treating.

Usually, I hate holidays at work. We try to do “fun” things for the kids and it goes poorly. They can’t handle the stimulation or lack of schedule. Oddly, today it went well! That was nice. None of the kids in my room were aggressive or unsafe. Hell, Cory told John calmly, “I’m not arguing with you about this anymore.” and then John moved on! So, the kids were awesome. They were excited all day and wore their costumes. It is the first work holiday I remember without the Quiet Room. Now I’m scrolling through cute FB pictures on the school’s page. ❤

I was not awesome.

I had a bunch of urges when adults’ choices bothered me or I was jealous. I actually talked to my psychiatrist for once. I resisted a binge urge. That was positive. I feel pretty good right now. I think I was vulnerable because I didn’t sleep well last night after my parents’ fight. On my way to my psychiatrist appointment, I caught myself thinking, “This is all the food’s fault. I’m in a bad mood because I ate all day. I’m suicidal because I’m not using behavior.”

I was in a bad mood until I played with my dogs: The BEST coping skills ever 🙂


Happy Halloween!


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