Decisions about Water Fasts

Successfully fasting at the moment, but I’m doubting my decisions.

First of all, I anticipate feeling upset tomorrow afternoon once I meet with Ginny. I remember not wanting to go to work the day after I got in trouble at work. Therefore, I’m afraid I’ll feel the same way about returning to work after Wednesday. Taking 4 days off prolongs and increases that anxiety. I don’t want to make going to work after our meeting more difficult.

Second, I know my mom will be furious and scared. I don’t want to either anger or scare her. I don’t want to hurt anyone. If I lose 7 pounds in 7 days, I will hurt her.

I could take only 2 days off. I want to take at least 2 days off because I’m stressed out. Perhaps I could take Friday and Monday off. I like that idea because it will make both this week and next week seem shorter. Plus, I won’t ditch work the day after I meet with Ginny. However, I won’t be able to beat a fasting record if I do that.

Also, one of the kids is transitioning soon and his last day might be any day from Thursday to Tuesday. I have no clue.

If I stay home Thursday and Friday, I can reach 6 days of water fasting before work on Monday. That beats my old record of 5 days. However, I’ll be ONE DAY short of a week long water fast. That seems like a waste.

I’m not sure why a week matters, but it sounds so much nicer than 6 days. If I want to make a week, I’d need to continue fasting, which means I’d either take Monday off or go to work having not eaten in 6 days. The latter seems like a horrible idea.

I feel like I need some behaviors! I wanted to cut all day today. I think I did a better job hiding my emotions, but feelings hurt. Technically, I did self-injure, but it was just scratching and only drew a little bit of blood.

My choices are take Thursday through Tuesday off, take Friday through Monday off, take no time off, or take Monday and Tuesday off. What should I do?

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6 thoughts on “Decisions about Water Fasts

  1. Sorry, phone misbehaving.

    Doing the right thing with ED is going to feel like failure. I’m so proud of you since I can only imagine how hard this is.

    Could you substitute with another liquid diet for a bit? Maybe using meal replacement shakes. Is that a ridiculous slippery slope?

    Or another coping strategy from the list you did a while back?

    You’re in my thoughts as you continue this war bit I’m so happy you won the battle!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks. It matters that someone is proud of me. It feels like everyone else only sees the failures.

      That is a good idea. I always found supplements like Ensure easier than food. However, I don’t think it is a slippery slope because even though I found Ensure easier than food, I quickly got sick of it.

      Oh yeah! I’ll look at that!

      Thank you again

      Liked by 1 person

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