Deleting “Friends”

I just deleted over 100 Facebook friends. It started with girls from inpatient treatment. Some of them are getting married and having kids. I’m happy for them, but seeing their happiness also makes me feel alone, inadequate, and jealous. They were just as sick as I was once. Why are they happy, successful, and in love? Then I started deleting people from high school who I haven’t talked to in 7 years and from there, it spread.

Except now I feel more lonely. WTF? This reaction makes no sense! I’m annoyed at myself.  I wish I was either so sick I was in the hospital or well enough to be happy. This half in – half out existence sucks. I’m not good enough to be inpatient or good enough to be normal.

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2 thoughts on “Deleting “Friends”

  1. Nobody is as happy as they look on social media. Everyone wakes up in the middle of the night, feel the world cave in, and tell themselves to give in to the sleepiness so all will feel righter and saner in the morning.

    But you probably already know this. What we cognitively understand and what we feel are two different things…

    Liked by 2 people

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