I am friends with my main NICU nurse on Facebook. When I got out of the hospital, she babysat me a few times because I still had specific medical needs and I needed a medically competent person to watch me in case something went wrong. Today her random post popped up onmy newsfeed and it got me thinking weird existential thoughts about throwing away the work so many put into my life. If I give up, their hours, months, and years of struggle, time, and effort are wasted because of my actions.
My favorite therapist said: “Caring for yourself is investing in everyone who loves you”
Self-imposed isolation is boring. I made a picture…
I often wonder whether people like me or just put up with me. Sometimes I express that in exasperating ways. Today was one of those days. I think the way I express those fears is annoying because my statements unintentionally sound accusatory.
Ginny said no one else expects her to respond to every message. Then I realized all of my friends interact in the same way that makes me question myself. I am the person starting the conversation. If I do not ask multiple questions, there is no conversation. None of my friends independently ask about me or my day. It is up to me to contact them, which means I am nothing more than an annoyance. Either my expectations are too high or I am annoying to everyone.
I don’t expect a response to every message. I feel upset when I realize I am always the person initiating conversation or trying to hang out. To me this says, no one really wants to talk to me or see me, they only do so when my badgering becomes unbearable. In other words, they respond to get me to shut up.
Does one person in a friendship usually start a conversation? How often and/or how fast do you expect a response to a message?